The 1st Annual Executive Leadership Flashdance (ELF)
In the spirit of the season, we’ve got a Hilaria-inspired post for your enjoyment—straight from the imaginative mind of our 1st Annual Executive Leadership Flashdance (ELF). Buckle up!
John Corzine’s Space Journey
Former MF Global Founder and ex-New Jersey Governor John Corzine was last seen boarding a Virgin Airlines flight bound for outer space. None other than Richard Branson is piloting, offering an innovative way to escape Earth’s atmosphere. The cost of Corzine’s ticket? Estimated at around $4 billion. Talk about aiming high!Bank of America’s Global Move (BofWDW)
Bank of America made headlines last week by announcing plans to form a global advisory group. But that wasn’t all—apparently, they’re rebranding to Bank of the Whole Damn World (BofWDW). The new bank will raise funds exclusively in U.S. dollars and adopt a SuperPAC-style approach. Global dominance, here they come!Coaching Swap: Kentucky and Louisville
John Calipari (Kentucky) and Rick Pitino (Louisville) are trading coaching positions to show just how collegial they can be, despite their bitter rivalry. The Final Four battle between these two just got a whole lot more interesting.Nick Saban Joins the Saints
In a twist no one saw coming, Nick Saban, head coach of Alabama, will become the New Orleans Saints’ new head coach and chief leadership evangelist. His first act? Trading for John Parker Wilson to back up Drew Brees—whose $500 million contract over 10 years will set new salary records. Talk about leadership and financial power.Fidel Castro and Pope Benedict’s Unlikely Alliance
After a historic meeting in Cuba, Fidel Castro and Pope Benedict have announced a joint alliance, with Castro in a historically unconventional succession line to run the Vatican. His first order of business? Bringing back fascism (with a twist) while working with Benedict to rid the world of fanaticism.Apple and Blackberry’s Big Merger
The new CEOs of Apple and Blackberry have made an unexpected move: a merger of unequals. The result? The AppleBerry—a co-branded product that may just change the tech world forever. Can they really rescue Blackberry from the brink?Goldman Sachs Goes to High School
In a bold move, Goldman Sachs has announced an early life stage intern program, aiming to secure young MBA talent. Their first intern? Malia Obama, who’s just returned from Spring Break in Mexico with her Secret Service entourage. The world’s financial future is looking a lot younger.Supreme Court Reopens Bush vs. Gore
Forget health insurance mandates; the Supreme Court is revisiting Bush vs. Gore in a recount that’s got Bain Capital backing a surprising move: supporting Al Gore for President once again. Mitt Romney‘s out, and it’s Gore 2.0 all the way. Sustainable Earth vs. fully insured population—you choose.Carly Fiorina and Tim Hurd Co-CEO at HP
Carly Fiorina and Tim Hurd are now co-CEOs of HP, meaning Meg Whitman can begin her secret campaign to replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State. Talk about corporate drama! The tech world will never be the same.The Clintons Take Over the World
Backed by some of the wealthiest minds in the world (George Soros, Warren Buffett, Bill and Melinda Gates, and Boone Pickens), Bill and Hillary Clinton have formed a global governance council. Their goal? To rule the ENTIRE WORLD with an agenda that includes everything from making Puerto Rico the 51st state to saving Yahoo from Microsoft‘s encroachment. Good luck with that.
Here’s hoping that our readers found both levity and insight in this fun post to celebrate April 1st—the day for fools and their errands. For more background on this fun tradition, check out April Fool’s History.
Thanks for reading!
JG