Leadership Do’s and Don(u)ts

This post aims to reframe the countless “how to be a better leader” lists that flood the business world. The content is born from over 15 years of work, observation, and engagement with business leaders—experiences that have been eye-opening at times. While these rules don’t necessarily apply to the individuals currently vying for the U.S. presidency, it probably should—but that’s a conversation for another day.

Main takeaway:

True leadership is far harder than it is authentic, especially when you’re unable to set aside your own interests for the sake of others, or reverse course on the very behaviors that helped you get to the top. Now, let’s dive into the Do’s and Donuts:

1.) The Double Do: Do as I say AND Do as I do

Dad used to say, “Don’t do as I do—do as I say.” Unfortunately, fifty percent isn’t going to cut it anymore. The right behaviors must back up the right words—and vice versa. Here’s a test: When was the last time you did something selfless that wasn’t in your own self-interest? Be honest.

2.) Do: Leaders care about people

Leaders are committed to and care about their people. They know their team members on a personal level, understanding where they come from and what drives them—not just when their employees can provide something needed. Business leaders talk endlessly about relationships, but before any transaction, there’s the person. How many CEOs do you know who truly care about people? The ones who do are the ones that stand out positively in your mind and heart.

3.) Donut: Don’t be thin-skinned or avoid trouble

Leaders don’t run and hide at the first sign of trouble. Digital media doesn’t replace engagement. A client once claimed via email that she was “insulted” when I asked her to honor an original work commitment. The words stung, but the irony was she preferred to be emailed rather than engage in person. While the situation was resolved, it was only after a sincere apology via handwritten note. Leaders embrace difficult conversations, not shy away from them.

4.) Know the difference between public and private behavior

Private behavior is becoming a thing of the past. Everything you say or do is now public. With the rise of social media and digital communication, it’s crucial to recognize that no action is truly private. Work backward from this extreme if you still believe some areas of your life should remain behind closed doors, including your online activity.

5.) Know where you stand: True North

Bill George once referred to this as a “True North” compass. Leaders need to stand for something. It’s not always about being liked—it’s about having a clear sense of purpose. In contrast to political elections, leadership is not a popularity contest, although even this truth is evolving in today’s world.

6.) Do: Be creative and tell a story

Leaders are creative and able to frame a narrative larger than themselves. I don’t know many creative CEOs in the sense that they can step outside the box they’ve created. They all say they’re open to new ideas, but when the pressure’s on, most are only willing to entertain these ideas temporarily until the storm passes. True creativity should be a standard, but too often, it’s not. Want to trade a donut for real service? Inquire here.

7.) Do: Be apolitical

In this context, “apolitical” doesn’t mean avoiding political positions. It means the ability to lead through competing interests and constituencies. Think of leaders like Peter Uberroth and Mitt Romney, who successfully managed the Olympic Games despite differing political ideologies and backgrounds.

8.) Donut: The smartest-man-in-the-room syndrome is over

In most sectors, the idea of the smartest person ruling the room is a thing of the past. The exception? Politics, where this outdated concept still thrives. However, in modern leadership, collaboration, and open dialogue tend to yield better results than the top-down approach where the leader always knows best.

Closing Thoughts

Leadership isn’t easy, but understanding the do’s and don’ts can help you navigate the complex landscape of modern leadership. If you’re focused on building relationships, fostering creativity, and standing for something meaningful, you’re on the right path. Happy leading!